Diary Entries

Not Ok Today. I am not ok today, no way, Those edges, they begin to fray I look away, forget to pray Today, I’m not ok. I cannot smile, as I walk my mile All the while, like being on trial This giant bowl of not-sterile Today, I’m not ok. My house is screaming, on me they’re leaning I have stopped dreaming, The big word ‘loving’ has lost its meaning Today, I’m not ok. The world is crying, dying, horrifying Eyes are spying for not complying The tension among us is terrifying Today I’m not ok. My boy gets sick, the fix not quick Do we go into the Virus thick? The threads that hold me unstick, unpick Today we’re not ok. There comes a man, in his Ambulance van Winks, “Ok?” He does deadpan, To my housebound clan, my little man, Unwitting, we join in his game plan He makes them laugh, on my behalf In my failure as Chief of Staff Lifts off my shoulders, the burden half He tells me, “You’re ok”. “You’re doing right, keep up the fight You’re not alone, stop being polite, Keep your faith in this deep dark night, I know you’ll be ok.” His paper body walked from my home That courageous Angel left me alone But, the world, no more monochrome I think I’ll be ok. A smile from one who should not grin Who sees the Virus deep within But who yet still can see the spin, That life will be ok. A kindness, shown to one not known Kindness cut right to my bone On his breath great hope has blown I know we’ll be ok.

Swimming in the Swamp of Uncertainty. I wake up not knowing, what this week will devour In this hour, watch the News, see the ‘Socials’ wielding power What will the world come to, will life resume rush hour? I’m swimming, in the swamp of this uncertainty. Today we’re back on schools: ‘Our kids are fine, they’re safe aplenty’ Says Scomo, versing Gladys, and the parents at number 20 But polio, it crippled – the “later effect” cry cognoscenti We’re swimming, in the swamp of this uncertainty. I wade on through the wake up, a prickly feeling on my shoulder I go upon my morning walk, only feeling older What to do with this day, stretching far and blurry yonder Around me sucks, the swamp of this uncertainty. I see upskilling, reconnecting, houses straight, losing weight Feel something big is going to happen, so, hanging, I must wait Kids ask, ‘will that man, on TV, reopen the floodgate?’ I shrug swallowed, in the swamp of this uncertainty. He says, ‘It’s eighteen months, and we will not let up yet’ That day I stick to nothing; I twitch, forget, roulette Kids pick up this, half do that, waiting for something to onset We wade around, the swamp of this uncertainty. I breathe deep breath, the day is done, and for sure it’s this is I know This life has beautiful things for us; uncertainty we just borrow For hope, happiness, love and kindness, will come fresh tomorrow And we’ll farewell, this awful swamp of the uncertainty.