Diary Entries

'Teaching After Lockdown' (continued) Astonishingly, there are those (inside and outside the school context) who have resisted the spreading fear and dismay. Whether due to an eternally sunny disposition or grotesque ignorance, it remains unclear. The obvious ones fitting the latter description are the conspiracy theorists. They are LOVING the government’s control of our physical whereabouts and the intrusion of our privacy through surveillance, because it confirms what they feared all along and fuels them with juicy debate topics. (Oh yes, they are feeling so self-righteous and affirmed at the moment. Doesn’t it feel glorious?!) They are the worst for breaking all the new rules and regulations designed to protect us. They will be downfall of us all.

'Teaching After Lockdown' (continued) The frequent announcements of changes to the operation of schools have come with no consultation of teachers themselves, and have been published in the media for teachers to discover there at the same time as everyone else. The change to online teaching, planned to be the mode of delivery for the whole of Term Two, was so rapidly thrust on teachers, then discarded within weeks. Yes, teachers are a cranky bunch at the moment. Cranky and hysterical. (That's NOT 1.5 metres! There are TOO MANY people currently in the staffroom!) The funniest thing about all this is the ridiculous belief that children and young people are immune, or are not able to spread it, hence schools are safe to stay open. Q.E.D. Never mind that most teachers are not young. Students must all suddenly return to school because… there IS definitely a reason... Never mind that some preschools and schools in the state have recently been shut down due to confirmed cases. The REST of the schools in the state are immune. Never mind that there are reports of an increasing number of related (sometimes fatal) syndromes in children overseas. The children HERE are safe. These propaganda paradoxes are just a constant source of hilarity, HARDY HAR HAR. The most frightening thing about all this is that the inevitable spread of contagion in schools will mean further spread outside schools. There will be that one student or teacher, symptomless and unaware of their positive status, innocently brushing past dozens of people in narrow corridors in between classes, spreading the infection invisibly like a sleep-walking assassin. Their unintended victims will then travel home to their nearest and dearest harbouring an indiscriminate and unpredictable villain – a killer welcomed with open arms right into the hearth.

'Teaching After Lockdown' (continued) The state of constant vigilance and being suspicious of everyone is exhausting. Adrenalin-filled espionage films make it look easy. In reality, the perpetual high alert, fight-or-flight mode saps your life force and morphs you into a sluggish puddle of woe. Where has that person been? Have they been diligently washing their hands for the recommended twenty seconds? Was that a sneeze? Is that a post-nasal drip cough or something more sinister? Oh God! I touched my face! AAARGH! Aaaand I’m done. I am a puddle of woe. Short bursts of essential social interaction – a trip to the supermarket for supplies, a dash to the chemist – these are tiring enough. The slog of a full day in a still-open workplace, especially in a school populated with hundreds of students, each one of them a haven for contagion – it is too much to be borne. The atmosphere in the staffroom is tense. People dance around each other awkwardly to keep distance (difficult when there are so many darned desks, filing cabinets and bookshelves about), and recoil from one another when they both reach for the fridge door at the same time. ‘No, you go ahead – make yourself a coffee first.’ (Oh God, they’ve picked up the milk bottle. How am I going to sanitise it without offending them? Maybe I’ll just have a black coffee, or none at all. Dang. Retreat while they’re distracted. Fabricate an excuse if they ask why you’re backing away from the fridge. ‘I, um, forgot to pick up my photocopying, mumble…’ DASH!) Simmering underneath the paranoia of spreading infection is a deep dissatisfaction, sense of futility and bitter resentment. The government has shown its true colours regarding the value they place on the work of teachers.

'Teaching After Lockdown' How things have changed. This expansion of everyone’s personal space bubble – so unnatural and awkward at first – is now ingrained in society. Those who come too close now are shot filthy looks at the very least, or are told in no uncertain terms to KEEP BACK. Supervising high school students in the classroom during Phase One of return to school, I observe them sitting the mandated 1.5 metres apart, which is both reassuring and depressing. Only a couple of months ago they would have been crammed into the classroom, sharing each other’s pens, laptops, food… Now, that would be absurd – some would consider it a death wish. And yet, the safety of this forced separation will end in a few days as the government has directed schools to skip Phases Two and Three, and jump straight to Phase Four – the return of ALL students to school every weekday – a chilling prospect. It’s bad enough that every surface in the school already feels tainted despite the staggered re-entry of students. As of next week they will be crammed in again, and the mandatory 1.5 metre rule will be laughably flouted. Maniacal laughter, that is. In my current class of ten students, only three wear masks, but it is actually the highest percentage within a classroom I have seen today. The masks are hard to come by. Of course, teachers are not permitted to wear them in the classroom. ‘How can you deliver lessons and give instructions, or maintain any authority when your face is covered?’ they say. We do not know. How do we maintain any sense of safety without them? How do we not succumb to an increasing sense of nihilism? There are no answers to these questions – only slogans.