Friday July 31 lockdown diary 9 am. Read paper. This iPad screen’s filthy! I’ll find E.’s excellent cleaning cloth. Tablecloth is also filthy. If E. ever clears the table I’ll wipe it down. Check weather app. 4% chance of rain. Would love some rain. Did I have a shower yesterday? E. is contemplating three boxes of yoghurt mix. Where’s her glasses cloth? And where’s that New Yorker article about the cockatoo in the painting? Glasses cloth. Must find. Cockatoo in painting article. Must find! This tablecloth….dear God. Clear the table, E. Where is glasses cloth?! I’m on a journey. Where is friggin’ article? A journey of rage. I find article! Alexander the Great had a cockatoo. My glasses are filthy. 9.35 am. Sunday August 2 lockdown diary Read paper. Costa hugs a chicken and looks pensive, Marcel Proust’s ‘Swann’s Way’ is now available on audio, read by John Rowe. Who is John Rowe? Google John Rowe. He is in the Wiggles. WTF! Proust in a Wiggle skivvy? Mais non. Walk W. 11 am tidings are not of comfort and joy. We phone scroll through it to safeguard our mental health. Lunch! I sweat through my own little bootcamp. E. practises French. White chocolate lamington! Mum sends photo of lovely native violets. I show E. She says they’re daisies, not violets. We are at breaking point. Telly. Sydney journo reporting from Observatory Hill: ‘government says there are too many people out and about’. E. says maybe journo should go home then. More telly. Phone pings. Samuel Pepys sent me a thumbs up. Bed.
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Thursday, July 23 lockdown diary Read paper. Harry’s writing a memoir. Something to look forward to. I remember last night’s dream about not finding the toilet block in a camping ground. Walk dog. Is it more boring to hear about someone else’s dream? Or about how many steps they took yesterday? E. does zoom bootcamp. I finish ‘Night Fishing’. Deeply satisfying. Peace…W’s ears flap in the heater’s currents. 11 am! Gladys! Day two with no Kerry. This is getting out of hand. Lunch! Champagne and burgers. This is not a hard life. E. learns more French. Plus de champagne as well. Slight blur…do we tidy? Surely yes. Dinner! Telly. Belgravia. Mon Dieu! I can’t take it anymore. Pas plus de bonnets! Bed. Saturday, July 25 lockdown diary Bootcamp zoom. Read paper. Sussan Ley fixes the damage caused by the Reef. Walk Woofie. 11 am Gladys. No Kerry! Or Gladys, just grim tidings from sad Brad. Wait til he sees the blustering pustules of outrage gathering on George St. Still, we have the Olympics and a YouTube video of Herman the pigeon and his best friend who’s a chihuahua called Lundy. And the ever hopeful E. learning French. ‘Bon soir Madame LaForge. Ca va?’ I’ve been better. E. asks how I’d greet a business acquaintance. "Comment allez vous and put your damn mask on." Write piece for Seaside Scavenge. Lunch! M. rings from Newcastle to cheer me up: Have we considered a new roof to cope with Sydney hailstorms in the hellish summer to come? Dinner! Telly. Olympics. Shiny hopeful youth hanging from hoops. Bed.
Sunday, lockdown diary. Read paper. Clive Palmer’s an idiot. Walk dog. 11 am - The Gladys tidings. Kerry’s glasses holding up well. Then… I know I did something. Check weather app. Morning tea! Read ‘Night Fishing’ by Vicki Hastrich. Lunch! Blur… Afternoon tea! Fog. Then. I did something? Read more ‘Night Fishing’. Hastrich wouldn’t sit around doing nothing. Check weather app. Then…? Plan dinner. Walk dog. Dinner! Telly. News. Weather! Belgravia. Is Tamsin Grieg related to Edvard Grieg? Imagine being called Gina Grieg. Or Gina Beethoven. Bed. Tuesday, lockdown diary Read paper. Sayonara, Eddie Obeid! Do cryptic crossword of 9 July. E. sprays lemon tree. E. walks dog. Crossword. E. bakes black bean and choc brownies. Crossword. Read ‘Night Fishing’. Hastrich goes solo night-fishing. Gladys and morning tea! Police raided an office birthday party in George St. Cake, food, alcoholic drinks, someone passed out on the floor! My office days were never like this. Lunch! Check emails. Tasks. Then….? Afternoon tea! The E. brownies. Walk dog. Zoom friends. Audio problems. We sound like we’re in a tunnel. We are. Dinner! Telly. Ms Represented. Wow. Send emoji fist pumps to J. Catalyst. A tumour is removed. (Sayonara Eddie Obeid!) Wind. Rain. Bed.