Diary Entries

Fire... We finally have a fire pit — donated by my brother-in-law. With winter arriving, it is timely and comforting to have one to use. We already spent two nights sitting around the fire and enjoying the warmth it emanates. The joy of warming our hands and faces as we look up to the clear or sometimes cloudy skies is so simple and often unnoticed. On the other hand, wild fire has also destroyed and killed life. We were recently witnesses to devastation caused by the bushfires. And obviously, it didn’t go unnoticed. I can’t help but be amazed and be bewildered by the consistent ironies in nature. The same elements that provide us sustenance and allow us to survive are also the same elements that can and will destroy us. So as our family continue to light up the fire in our fire pit this winter, we shall remain grateful for its power in our lives.

Today, we walked through a national park. Of course, we knew there would be quite a number of people there but we thought, "What the heck?", and kept to our plan. It was a pleasant walk, although a bit chilly in some parts where the sun couldn't seem to go through. Our plan to walk out in the forest today was triggered by a documentary we watched yesterday, called Footprints: The Path Of Your Life. The film followed 10 men who agreed to walk the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile, 40-day trek that would challenge their strength and faith. Motivated by their Catholic faith, these men were able to reach the goal they set out for -- the strengthening of their faith in Jesus, in each other and in themselves. We are not a very religious family but we do believe that there is a higher force above and beyond us that keeps our world and our lives intact, and connected with each other and with everything else around us. As we walked through the forest, there was constantly a sense of submission to the earth. The soil, the rocks, the trees, the wildlife, the rotting fauna, the subtle sounds, the distinct sights never seemed to end. The sense of self merged with the energies around us, and walking with this mindset has made us feel that it was not a long walk, and not a tiring hike. We didn't walk 500 miles, but the simple experience of being one with the earth, even for a short period of time, has given us energy much greater and much more meaningful than what we get from our egos.

Oh it's the weekend! And it's almost finished... Wait...are weekends still a thing? Oh, it's also Mother's Day around the world. Everyday, I think, ever since the various stages of lockdowns in the world, most of us have been in touch with our mothers -- perhaps for some like me, even more often than in the past few years. So Mother's Day today is not only celebrated in quite a limited way -- social distancing for us, but still in isolation for other parts of the world. But has also sort of waned in excitement as we may have been with our mums -- albeit virtually -- for many weeks leading up to this day. Or maybe it's just me. There's really no shopping for presents or anything like that, and we just had simple breakfast at my in-laws house. I am a mum to a young child (who actually told me to add here that we didn't give him time on the iPad today! hahaha). And everyday with him now has really been like Mother's Day. He will no longer go back to school for the rest of the year as we have registered him with the Home Education Unit. At first, it felt weird having him around and stressfully trying to "school" him at home. But now that we have moved forward and moved away from "school", the three of us are just learning and living. And we are all learning with each other! Time spent as a family is really priceless! And we are just happy that we get to do that everyday now -- mother's day or no mother's day, weekend or no weekend. ;-)

I am amazed at how quickly our freedoms were curbed and in just a blink of an eye, we were all just told to stop. We were running a marathon, and in the middle of the race, we were told to just stop. Many did stop. But most kept jogging, and then walking. We paused. Took a breath. And it hurt. It hurt our legs, our arms, our body, our ego. We could have died. Some did. But most of us did not. So we kept breathing — the panting turning into calmer breaths. And then we rested. But some did not — the frontliners, the “essential” workers, the heroes. Our own breaths kept us going, most of us, in the safety of our homes. But for others, there is no home to rest safely. Life just goes on. Simple thoughts cross my mind too. Did the birds wonder why there weren’t crowds on the beach? Did the whales and dolphins realise that the cruise ships stopped moving? Did we even bother to notice the changes around us that did not include humans? I feel very lucky to still have the freedom to have my own thoughts. It is amazing how this phenomenon has given us an opportunity to discover which freedoms are most valuable for us. What could be yours?

Today went past again — same as yesterday and the day before. But then it is always different. We hardly get a chance to really see how much we do accomplish in a day so the diary is a good thing. It allows us to reflect on the day and discover what we have done, how we felt and how we are at the end of the day. My son and I spent the day talking on-and-off with each other about the Thunderbirds board game that we started to play last night. He is into collaborative games at the moment, and he is loving all the different rules. As much as I am an advocate of collaborative activities — as opposed to competitive ones — for his age, I realise that my head spins trying to work out the many different rules and options that these cooperative games offer! Before we even begin the game, I am exhausted. And then the game begins, and for the life of me, I only hope the game will end soon. But my son loves it! He imagines himself to be in the game. So he strategises and thinks of how to go past the dangers and challenges without being defeated by them. But luck plays a part in these games, and one relies on chance for certain events or circumstances that happen as you open every card. Sometimes, the game ends and all players fail to accomplish the mission. Sounds so familiar, isn’t it? (Wink) Tomorrow is another day. We might end up playing another collaborative game — Ravine. That and some lessons for him and a little bit of work for me.