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Date
How should I put this...
Lockdown has been a turbulent wave.
Full of its ups and downs, moments of fresh air and moments when you're drowning. Trying to swim to the other side has certainly been one learning experience.
It took me too long to realise that to survive clicking on and off Google classroom all day, I needed to re-arrange my whole room. I needed a desk in front of a window. A water station, and English breakfast tea.
It took me too long to realise that motivation comes in bursts, and can't be switched on and off like a lamp. That sometimes, if I don't cut my friends off or ignore messages to go complete a task, that task may lay unfinished for weeks.
I remember this one rare small gathering with a few of my friends. It was after restrictions had eased a little, and we were allowed to go visit parks in small groups. Nothing could describe how excited I was for the week leading up to it. Can you imagine? Being able to have proper social interaction? We had joked that our "social skills have gone out the window" and how "my sense of humour is dead", and in the moment, we all laughed it off and treated it like the joke it was meant to be. But coming home, I realised just how disconnected I felt from the rest of them. Thinking over every interaction we had, everything that was said, and it all felt so... tiring. By the time I was clicking onto a tutoring zoom lesson, I couldn't keep my eyes open, nor stop yawning.
Every day I've wished to see my friends again, to laugh in a group, and to hear their real voices without the robotic distortion from glitchy wifi. Yet I failed to consider how jarring it would all be.
We're going back to school in a week, and I don't even know how it's possible to feel so ecstatic yet dread it at the same time. I'm reaching the land past the waves, yet there's something so foreign about it, I just want to float and drift away...
I guess I shall see you on the other side.
<3
Lockdown has been a turbulent wave.
Full of its ups and downs, moments of fresh air and moments when you're drowning. Trying to swim to the other side has certainly been one learning experience.
It took me too long to realise that to survive clicking on and off Google classroom all day, I needed to re-arrange my whole room. I needed a desk in front of a window. A water station, and English breakfast tea.
It took me too long to realise that motivation comes in bursts, and can't be switched on and off like a lamp. That sometimes, if I don't cut my friends off or ignore messages to go complete a task, that task may lay unfinished for weeks.
I remember this one rare small gathering with a few of my friends. It was after restrictions had eased a little, and we were allowed to go visit parks in small groups. Nothing could describe how excited I was for the week leading up to it. Can you imagine? Being able to have proper social interaction? We had joked that our "social skills have gone out the window" and how "my sense of humour is dead", and in the moment, we all laughed it off and treated it like the joke it was meant to be. But coming home, I realised just how disconnected I felt from the rest of them. Thinking over every interaction we had, everything that was said, and it all felt so... tiring. By the time I was clicking onto a tutoring zoom lesson, I couldn't keep my eyes open, nor stop yawning.
Every day I've wished to see my friends again, to laugh in a group, and to hear their real voices without the robotic distortion from glitchy wifi. Yet I failed to consider how jarring it would all be.
We're going back to school in a week, and I don't even know how it's possible to feel so ecstatic yet dread it at the same time. I'm reaching the land past the waves, yet there's something so foreign about it, I just want to float and drift away...
I guess I shall see you on the other side.
<3